Post Number Two: Names

Prior to reaching the age where I could understand that it was an honor to have my name spelled as Gillian with a “G” and not a “J,” I failed to comprehend what seemed to be such an illogical spelling of my name. People who did not know me and had to read my name for the first time such as TSA employees would frequently pronounce my name with a hard “G.” Eventually I got too frustrated with this common mistake and I decided to take action. So when I was invited to my friends sixth birthday party and was handed a wooden crate to decorate, I (a confident, all-knowing six year old) painted my name on the crate spelled with a “J.” Of course when I showed my mother the crate with the altered spelling of my name, she was furious and explained that my name, Gillian Leigh, originates from my maternal grandfather’s name, Gilbert Lee. It was decided that when I was born, that my parents would follow the Jewish tradition of naming their child after a deceased relative.  Upon further research, I came to the realization that my name of Latin origin means “youthful”. I believe that my name has come to define me; it is a representation and carriage of my Jewish heritage that I strongly identify with. However, I also believe that my parents were intentional when choosing a name that meant “youthful,” because they wanted me to follow the ideals of a child: inquisitiveness, truthfulness, and kindness.

There is a fine line in between wanting to be an individual and wanting to be a part of a larger whole, and I think that many times, this line becomes extraordinarily blurred.  Reminiscing to the summer after freshman year, I was at a program with a hundred other Jewish teens at a college in West Virginia and it was a Saturday evening, and I and roughly fifteen other girls were in a chapter that was to lead a service called Havdallah that would mark the closure of Shabbat. As we were planning the service, the chapter decided that we would all wear the chapter t-shirts we had just made. I have the custom of dressing up to some extent for this service, so I wasn’t exactly comfortable with wearing a t-shirt and Nike shorts. However, I wanted to be a part of my chapter and participate in leading the service, so I made a compromise. I wore a long floral skirt with a tie-dye t-shirt, so that I could maintain my custom of dressing up a little bit. It was certainly not an attractive combination or compromise, but I worked it, allowing me to maintain my individualism and a part as a larger whole, my chapter. I think that in society, it is more than acceptable to want to be a part of a whole, but it’s important to always keep the individual self in mind, in order to maintain the integrity of the values of the whole.

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